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promised myself i'd at least start a cover letter today. [Sep. 27th, 2013;03:33 pm]
so far have just been staring at a blank word document....

can't think of a single good thing to say about myself. my self-esteem has been a lot lower than usual lately :|
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at some point i started friend-locking all my entries. [Oct. 14th, 2012;11:42 pm]
so yeah.. there's that.
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I'm actually in tears right now. [Aug. 30th, 2011;04:55 pm]
[현재의 위치 ◘ |its raining really hard. that can be my excuse to stay in.]
[현재의 기분 ☺ |distresseddistressed]

There's this video of a black man attacking these people on a bus in Korea, and he's cursing at them in both Korean and English and just being a total asshole.From what I've read, the issue started because an old Korean person pointed to the seat and said to the black man "niga," which means "you" in Korean, as in "you sit here." He misunderstood it as a racial slur and went off on them.

I hate how videos like this bring out the worst in people, because while I agree that the man was completely out of line and that what he did was messed up, some of the comments on this video are just really awful.

There are a lot of comments like, "I fucking hate niggers," and one of the 'top comments' is: 

That's why we do hate fucking niggers. They all have a servile apirit so that they frequently regard other people as a enemy except niggers.

I really want to cry right now. Why do people say things like this? Do you really think making incredibly racist generalizations like this makes anything better? It isn't going to make that man feel worse. It isn't going to make any of the people he's cursing at feel any better. And there are thousands of young black people who are going to read this and either become angry and hostile towards others or become incredibly hurt. I hate how people are just so mean and ignorant sometimes... there is NO reason to perpetuate racism and hatred.

This is so.... argghhh. As a half-black person in Korea, I'm so ashamed of my skin color right now, just by association. When I was little, I hated being black because I knew people looked at me and saw me as one of those types of black people, and I was so ashamed. I feel like I'm 11 again ): I'm suddenly so scared of what people are thinking when they look at me on the streets or on the subway. People staring or pointing at me is nothing new, because although more and more foreigners are coming to Korea, there still aren't a lot of us here, so people look at you kind of curiously... but now I feel like every stare is accompanied by judgement, and that's so scary to me that I don't even want to leave my dorm room anymore...

edited to add: here's the link to the video. forgot about that, oooops:

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eeepies! I just bought my plane ticket to korea! [May. 8th, 2011;12:30 pm]
My poor bank account. lol.
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Came home for the weekend to relax, [Apr. 17th, 2011;09:53 pm]
because last week was just really long and filled with nights where I got 4 hours of sleep, if I was lucky. It's really funny coming home after a long time (by which I mean a month or two... not REALLY a long time, hahah) because it's like a completely different world. I never realize how much changes while I'm gone. It's weird to come home and have things be different (and just small things, like the sudden appearance of items like gravy mix, instant coffee and cream cheese in the kitchen, and the new bath rug sets). It's still weird for me to remember that life still goes on when I'm not here, and that it isn't static. It's weird that all these things appear in our house while I'm gone, so that I get home and my parents are still my parents, my sisters are still my sisters, my room is still my room, but it's not my house. Not anymore. It's theirs. I don't like feeling like a stranger in my own home...

But gravy mix? Instant coffee? Who are these people? I know, they're weird things to fixate on but my mom has made her own gravy since before I was born and my parents hate coffee. I figure it's my eldest sister's but we've never really been people to have coffee in our house like that. It's just... weird...
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self-reliance? [Apr. 2nd, 2011;10:55 pm]
[현재의 음악 ♫ |]

People will judge your past, critique your present, and doubt your future. They will tell you not to walk alone, but they will never say that they'll walk with you.

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(no subject) [Mar. 3rd, 2011;04:30 pm]
 i deleted all my journal entries on a whim.
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